I turn 25 in 3 days. Its scary and unreal and I'm totally not prepared to be it. On that note..heres something

I'd always imagined that at 25 I would have it all - a hot bod, the perfect job, the man of my dreams, an awesome apartment (like they show in the movies), a steady group of friends and a great social life. But the truth is that my life has no direction.
Here I am - the big Two Five!..no more in my early twenties. I have been on this planet for two and half decades. BAM! I've just been hit by the quarter-life-crisis. You would think that 25 years of planning is enough to lead a satisfied life..but who knew that decisions, I once thought were the best thing for me, would now seem like a burden to live with.

I am still living in the shadows of my teenage years. The career I chose at 17 is what I am still pursuing today. What did I even know about having a job or what I'd like to do for the rest of my life. I just chose something that I would like to go college for..or would like to learn more about. Now that I've learned everything about my field, am I even cut out to be good at it? Am I allowed to have these self doubts at 25? Shouldn't I be more successful in what I'm doing?

While everybody around me is either married or in steady relationships, here I am letting go of a really great guy. We have been through so much shit together..but I can no longer live with a decision I made at 20. At that time I had planned out my entire life with him..but at 25 I don't see the same future. Neither of us are wrong or bad people..I think we've just grown apart. But why am I doing this? Shouldn't I be wanting to settle down? Shouldn't I be wanting to get married? Why am I not prepared?

While I'm trying to get away from my life that has been, I'm clinging on to a few things from the same time. My parents are not getting any younger. I can see the fine wrinkles on their faces, the exhaustion after a days work, the increasing irritability..and I don't know how to deal with the fact that they are just getting old. Am I still allowed to be dependent on them?

I'm getting older myself! Am I supposed to use anti-wrinkle creams and skin tightening lotions now? Because I'm sure going to need that in 5 years. My metabolism is getting slower..can I still eat what I want and loose weight easily? Is my health ok? Should I be going for regular check ups now?

I am starting to have opinions about a lot of things. But is it alright that I still don't understand politics? I have a lot of advice to give..but is it ok that I am still confused about my life? I would like to be more responsible..but is it ok that people still think I'm a crazy soul? I want to climb up the career ladder..but is it ok for me to still get a tattoo?

I really don't know where my life is going. But maybe I am fine with that. Age, afterall, is just a number. My life isn't changing (although it is) and neither will I stop being me (I'll just be an older me). Whether I am 18 or 25..I will still get excited about ice cream..I will still get drunk and act obnoxious..I will still be spoilt by my parents..I will still never stop doubting whether I have made the right choices..and most of all I will still never be too sure.

So cheers to turning 25..as they say..its the best and the worst time of your life :)

I could post the rest of the Desi ABCD here..or I could post a link to my facebook page (which has a whole album dedicated to it).

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Madi-Things/278547975490759

Like me already! :)

I am a thinker..I like thinking about things that most people deem insignificant. Okay not like I choose to think..my brain just works that way. I truly believe that life is made up of little moments and I would like to share some of mine with you. I've been meaning to write for a while..but call it being lazy or busy (lets just call it procrastination! happy?)..it just hasn't happened. So enough already! Here I am..finally writing!

Lets start with some of the lighter topics that have been playing in my head.
I started work again! yay me! Last week I got a call from my previous company wanting me back (awesome feeling *notgoingtolie*) and I've been working for 3 full days now. I work as a graphic designer under the Art director of the company..who has changed since the last time I worked with them.

Four months ago, I worked under a twenty three year old software guru. He knew mostly everything, and had the ability to learn new softwares within minutes. I went to college with the likes of him and boy did it make me feel like an 80 year old trying to figure out a computer. They look at something, and within a few clicks they have it all figured out! HOW do you do that!! ugh! (I really wish I was a better geek..or one at all! *pleaseletmebeone*) But back to my supervisor..he was so full of potential..he knew the little tricks, he could create something amazing in half the time it used to take me to do the same thing, he watched tutorials and kept up with the latest trends in the design world, he had really cool ideas.. He was all about shortcuts and getting things done quickly. For every 5 steps of mine, he would suggest a way I could have done the same in 2. His tip to me was: Nobody cares about creativity..just be cost and time effective. Don't create something that you can find on the internet.

Cut to the present. "Hey Glenn! how does this look?".. "welll..why don't you try to change the color of this, add some shadows to that, give this a better flow". Half an hour later - "any better now?".. 10 second pause.."yeaa..try changing this, add some environment, give it some highlights". And this conversation between me and my supervisor continues till the piece looks absolutely perfect *killmealready*. At the point when I have to change something I've been working on for hours, I get frustrated. While I think it looks good already, he keeps pushing me to add/delete elements to the piece. When I'm finally done with the piece, I open up one of my previous versions, stand back and stare at what was and what is. WHOA!

I was not stopped time and over to do things his way.. I was not shown a short cut.. I was not allowed to stop working on the piece till it looked damn good.. he even asked me how I would do something because he didn't know the best way himself.. we took our time and didn't compromise on a single shadow or a highlight. At one point he said to me, "add some brilliance..make it brilliant".
I know I'm only 3 days old but I feel like I'm learning so much already! When I watch him work, he isn't just clicking away moving things around.. there is a thought behind every click and a steady process of achieving awesomeness. You can sense the experience and the hard work it takes to get there.

So is life like that? Young bloods *astheycallus* are always in a rush..want things their way..adapt to things easily.. always opt for the short cut..as opposed to the older guys who are more cautious.. might not know everything about this generation but know exactly what they are doing.. secretly working towards brilliance! Guess I'll listen more closely when my dad gives me advice!