Yes I know I've been crying about turning 25 for months now! But this post is a happy one!! yes yes..HAPPY! :D My 25th birthday was AWESOME!

I got gifts with some insane stuff written over it. It was so hilarious, made me laugh out loud for hours and it was TOTALLY my kind of humor.

My friend sent me this (among other things) from India. It is a sketchbook with this address on the back.


 yes I am blowing an imaginary candle! 

I turn 25 in 3 days. Its scary and unreal and I'm totally not prepared to be it. On that note..heres something

I'd always imagined that at 25 I would have it all - a hot bod, the perfect job, the man of my dreams, an awesome apartment (like they show in the movies), a steady group of friends and a great social life. But the truth is that my life has no direction.
Here I am - the big Two Five!..no more in my early twenties. I have been on this planet for two and half decades. BAM! I've just been hit by the quarter-life-crisis. You would think that 25 years of planning is enough to lead a satisfied life..but who knew that decisions, I once thought were the best thing for me, would now seem like a burden to live with.

I am still living in the shadows of my teenage years. The career I chose at 17 is what I am still pursuing today. What did I even know about having a job or what I'd like to do for the rest of my life. I just chose something that I would like to go college for..or would like to learn more about. Now that I've learned everything about my field, am I even cut out to be good at it? Am I allowed to have these self doubts at 25? Shouldn't I be more successful in what I'm doing?

While everybody around me is either married or in steady relationships, here I am letting go of a really great guy. We have been through so much shit together..but I can no longer live with a decision I made at 20. At that time I had planned out my entire life with him..but at 25 I don't see the same future. Neither of us are wrong or bad people..I think we've just grown apart. But why am I doing this? Shouldn't I be wanting to settle down? Shouldn't I be wanting to get married? Why am I not prepared?

While I'm trying to get away from my life that has been, I'm clinging on to a few things from the same time. My parents are not getting any younger. I can see the fine wrinkles on their faces, the exhaustion after a days work, the increasing irritability..and I don't know how to deal with the fact that they are just getting old. Am I still allowed to be dependent on them?

I'm getting older myself! Am I supposed to use anti-wrinkle creams and skin tightening lotions now? Because I'm sure going to need that in 5 years. My metabolism is getting slower..can I still eat what I want and loose weight easily? Is my health ok? Should I be going for regular check ups now?

I am starting to have opinions about a lot of things. But is it alright that I still don't understand politics? I have a lot of advice to give..but is it ok that I am still confused about my life? I would like to be more responsible..but is it ok that people still think I'm a crazy soul? I want to climb up the career ladder..but is it ok for me to still get a tattoo?

I really don't know where my life is going. But maybe I am fine with that. Age, afterall, is just a number. My life isn't changing (although it is) and neither will I stop being me (I'll just be an older me). Whether I am 18 or 25..I will still get excited about ice cream..I will still get drunk and act obnoxious..I will still be spoilt by my parents..I will still never stop doubting whether I have made the right choices..and most of all I will still never be too sure.

So cheers to turning 25..as they say..its the best and the worst time of your life :)