I turn 25 in 3 days. Its scary and unreal and I'm totally not prepared to be it. On that note..heres something

I'd always imagined that at 25 I would have it all - a hot bod, the perfect job, the man of my dreams, an awesome apartment (like they show in the movies), a steady group of friends and a great social life. But the truth is that my life has no direction.
Here I am - the big Two Five!..no more in my early twenties. I have been on this planet for two and half decades. BAM! I've just been hit by the quarter-life-crisis. You would think that 25 years of planning is enough to lead a satisfied life..but who knew that decisions, I once thought were the best thing for me, would now seem like a burden to live with.

I am still living in the shadows of my teenage years. The career I chose at 17 is what I am still pursuing today. What did I even know about having a job or what I'd like to do for the rest of my life. I just chose something that I would like to go college for..or would like to learn more about. Now that I've learned everything about my field, am I even cut out to be good at it? Am I allowed to have these self doubts at 25? Shouldn't I be more successful in what I'm doing?

While everybody around me is either married or in steady relationships, here I am letting go of a really great guy. We have been through so much shit together..but I can no longer live with a decision I made at 20. At that time I had planned out my entire life with him..but at 25 I don't see the same future. Neither of us are wrong or bad people..I think we've just grown apart. But why am I doing this? Shouldn't I be wanting to settle down? Shouldn't I be wanting to get married? Why am I not prepared?

While I'm trying to get away from my life that has been, I'm clinging on to a few things from the same time. My parents are not getting any younger. I can see the fine wrinkles on their faces, the exhaustion after a days work, the increasing irritability..and I don't know how to deal with the fact that they are just getting old. Am I still allowed to be dependent on them?

I'm getting older myself! Am I supposed to use anti-wrinkle creams and skin tightening lotions now? Because I'm sure going to need that in 5 years. My metabolism is getting slower..can I still eat what I want and loose weight easily? Is my health ok? Should I be going for regular check ups now?

I am starting to have opinions about a lot of things. But is it alright that I still don't understand politics? I have a lot of advice to give..but is it ok that I am still confused about my life? I would like to be more responsible..but is it ok that people still think I'm a crazy soul? I want to climb up the career ladder..but is it ok for me to still get a tattoo?

I really don't know where my life is going. But maybe I am fine with that. Age, afterall, is just a number. My life isn't changing (although it is) and neither will I stop being me (I'll just be an older me). Whether I am 18 or 25..I will still get excited about ice cream..I will still get drunk and act obnoxious..I will still be spoilt by my parents..I will still never stop doubting whether I have made the right choices..and most of all I will still never be too sure.

So cheers to turning 25..as they say..its the best and the worst time of your life :)